Our Greatest Sorrow 

img_2698When I was 8 I had a peculiar interest in making tents. I would gather all the fluffly cushions; the blankets; colorful cloths; every stick i could get my hand on; polished wooden stands and make myself a tent that somewhat resembled an isolated home.A place I would find comfort in, an abode I could call only mine, a site where I would cry and laugh, scream and smile, weep and giggle. It would be only for me, no one could enter or leave, a place that belonged to me and me only.

When I grew older I started making homes out of people, it was the same craft whatsoever just that this time it took more effort.But these homes were dissimilar. I couldnt remake them once they were crumbled; I had to pick up the pieces and join them differently. I also couldnt alter them exactly like I wanted to, however, there came a point where I learned to embrace the faults in my home and rather call them beautiful. I am sure this is something we can all relate to, something we can compare to, something we can even cherish together.

However, what comes next is something we all can relate to as well, fortunately or unfortunately. That’s when we cognize our homes have been wrecked for eternity, when an invincible storm tore down walls, shaked floors and the hurricane cracked roofs. Our dreams were shattered with the reckoning of the bricks. What I believe is that in our life, which sometimes seem quite long, we can only find one home we can truly proclaim ours. So when that breaks down, we do too. But that’s not our greatest sorrow: what comes next is.

We think what we feel at that particular moment will pass, maybe in a few days,weeks or even months but it will and there will come a time when we are happy-completely,utterly,genuinely-when our past will not dominate our memory anymore. But we dont. No matter how many homes we create, we can never omit the one that defined us. We never feel wholly at home again and we have a void in us that we can never ever fill no matter how many years proceed or how many better homes come our way. We move on and yet we stay at the same point, some homes that occupy our heart always remain there no matter what. But we can’t do anything about the ache left behind which haunts us forever- an ache that changes us for better or worse, the latter though having the most probability and- that I believe is our greatest sorrow.